Roxie's Super Smashing Journey
by RoxieStar89
Summary: Our (not so) favorite Mary Sue named Sara has just taken over Nintendo and it's up to Roxie to stop her and save the world. She teams up with a few Smashers in her process and Wolf becomes her mentor. This story is inspired by warriorcatgirl375's "Operation Smash Rescue". No rude comments, please.
1. The Rise of the Mary-Sue Empire

One fine day, someone had just arrived in the Smash Mansion. That person in question was a young woman with platinum blond hair and striking turquoise eyes (with one of them being covered by her side-swept bangs). She also wore a silver crown with red and blue jewels on it, golden star-shaped earrings, a beautiful turquoise dress with a white underskirt and matching high heels. Said dress also had a silver star brooch with a gold circle on it, silver star appliques on each side of the skirt and white bell-shaped cuffs on each sleeve. Her name was Rosalina, the princess of the Cosmos. In her arms was a small star-like creature with black eyes and its name was Luma, the creature that Rosalina had cared for since the day her mother died.

"Hello? Anyone here?" Rosalina called out as she stepped into the mansion. She and Luma then took their time to explore the mansion.

"You know, Luma," she added, "I must say that we're new here. I know it's hard to leave our home for the Smash Mansion, but I assure you that we'll get used to it soon. Everything's going to be okay."

Before Luma could respond, however, they heard a noise and there was something out there.

"We need to check something!" Rosalina shouted as she and Luma ran outside of the mansion and, much to their horror, they saw several Smashers running for their dear lives.

"Run! Run!" Princess Peach screamed as she, alongside her fellow smashers, kept running, just for the laser to hit Samus, knocking her out. Then more lasers started hitting Peach, Bowser, Wario, King Dedede, Meta Knight, Marth, Ike, Toon Link, Link, Zelda, Ganondorf, Red (and Charizard, Ivysaur and Squirtle), Jigglypuff, Falco, Caption Falcon, Lucas (much to Ness' horror) and some more.

Snake, in the meantime, managed to dodge one laser, just to fall down, flat on his face. When he got up, he saw a young 13-year-old girl with long, blonde hair and green eyes. She was wearing an "Obama Sucks" top, a fancy skirt and Guiseppe Zanotti high heels and in her hand was a bible that she was shooting lasers from (you'll find out the purpose of those lasers soon). Her name was Sara Osborne, the infamous Mary Sue behind her "Mishonh From God" story.

"You know what these lasers do to you?" she asked. "Once they hit you, you will not only fall under my control, but you'll also be either a Christian or a liberal."

"You!" Snake growled angrily. "You won't get away with this-"

Sara cut him off and fired another laser at him from her bible, knocking him down instantly. Fox, who was trying to hide behind the bush, saw everything and screamed. While screaming, he tried to run away, just to get hit by another laser.

In the meantime, some more Smashers were running and being led by Master Hand and Crazy Hand. Those exact Smashers were Wolf, Luigi, Mario, Mr. Game & Watch. R.O.B., Pit, Lucario, Pikachu, Kirby, Donkey Kong, Ness, Sonic, Yoshi and Diddy Kong. Suddenly, much to their shock, Mario stopped running and decided to try to face Sara himself.

"I'll distract-a Sara for as-a long-a as I can-a," Mario said firmly. "I want-a you to take my brother with-a you!"

"No problem," everyone else except Luigi said, much to Luigi's shock.

"Mario, no!" Luigi shouted. "If you-a do, then she will-a zap-a you and you will-a be under her control-!"

Before he could finish, Wolf hit him on the head, knocking him out instantly, and then picked him up, slinging him over his shoulders prior to continuing to run with others except Mario following suit.

"You'll thank me later," Wolf said as he kept running.

When Mario faced Sara and tried to distract her, she shot a laser at him with her bible. Diddy Kong, in the meantime, was trying to catch up to others (especially Donkey Kong) when he suddenly got hit by another laser as well, much to his aforementioned uncle's horror.

"NOOOOOO!" Donkey Kong yelled as he continued to run, knowing that he couldn't save his nephew.

"MASTER HAND! HURRY!" Crazy Hand screamed frantically.

"I'm trying!" Master Hand shouted prior to noticing Rosalina and Luma. "As for you two newcomers, come with us and we'll take you and the others into hiding!"

Rosalina and Luma did exactly that and with that, Master Hand and Crazy Hand then used their magic to teleport the surviving Smashers (including Rosalina and Luma) as well as themselves into hiding.

...

Two months passed now and while many of the survivors tried to move on, Luigi, in the meantime, was still grieving about Mario.

"Luigi, are you okay?" Ness asked.

"Yeah, you seem troubled," Donkey Kong agreed.

"Yeah, is something the matter?" Yoshi asked.

"Mario," Luigi sobbed. "I-i-i lost-a him."

"I lost my friend named Lucas too," Ness said.

"Mario is my friend and I lost him too," Yoshi agreed.

"You know what, guys?" Donkey Kong said. "i lost my nephew to the exact same thing, so I know you're not alone."

"As much as I hate that pup with a passion," Wolf admitted, "that little girl must've gone too far!"

"This is bad," Rosalina agreed. "I can't believe she must've made Christianity look bad."

"Yeah," Pit agreed as well. "I know that even Lady Palutena wouldn't do anything that drastic and she's still a goddess."

"This has to stop," Sonic stated.

The rest of the surviving Smashers nodded in agreement.

"I have an idea," Master Hand suddenly said.

"Which idea is it then?" Lucario wondered.

"That's exactly what I would do," Master Hand explained. "I will find RoxieStar89, or Roxie for short, and bring her into this world. After that, I will turn her into a Braixen, which happens to be one of her favorite Pokémon. I will do that because we need her help and she could be our only hope."

"Are you sure you want to do that?" Mr. G&W asked.

"You know it," Master Hand explained.

"Actually, that's a good idea," Rosalina admitted.

"YAY, MAKE WAY FOR ROXIE!" Crazy Hand yelled.

"Whoa, settle down, Crazy," Master Hand chuckled. "I know you're excited about it and, trust me, we all are. So that's why I will do it now."


	2. Enter Roxie, the Only Hope

In Las Vegas, there was a young 25-year-old woman with brown hair and gray eyes; in that case, since she was at college, she wore her My Chemical Romance beanie, a black, grey and white striped HoodieBuddie hoodie with black built-in earphones and with a Regular Show T-shirt underneath, black distressed skinny jeans with the built-in matching fishnet insets in each leg of said jeans and matching Doc Marten boots. Her name was RoxieStar89, or Roxie for short.

Yes, she used to be Jewish, but when she turned 19, she converted to atheism and no, not the kind that Sara likes to portray other atheists as. When she first discovered that awful Super Smash Bros. fanfic called "Supper Smash Bros.: Mishonh From God", she immediately started hating Sara for what she did and how she ruined all things Nintendo with just that story. Yes, it's true, ladies and gentlemen. Roxie has been a longtime Super Smash Bros. fan since she was 9-years-old and Sara was the one who ruined it all for her and her fellow Smash fans (don't ask).

Anyway, when she got home from college and after she did her homework, made (and then ate) her dinner and then washed the dishes, she immediately went to her room to play Super Smash Bros. 4, so she turned on her Wii U. After that, she chose Fox and was about to fight an opponent (who, in that case, was King Dedede) when, much to her shock, nothing ever happened (the stage she chose was the Gaur Plain from the Xenoblade series).

"What gives?" Roxie asked herself.

Then, all of a sudden, something happened to her GamePad and in a weird way. It started to suck her in, much to her horror.

"No! Please! Help me!" she screamed as she tried to grab her desk and keep herself from getting sucked in, but only to no avail, so she lost her grip and then got sucked into her GamePad anyway...and it was just the beginning.

...

"Uuuugh, where am I...?"

As her eyes snapped open, she walked up to the large mirror and it dawned on her as she saw that she was turned into a Braixen, yet she still wore her hoodie.

"EEEEEEEEK!" she screamed. "I'M A POKÉMON NOW!"

"Well, well, well, if it ain't Roxie," said a voice.

Roxie then turned around and saw Wolf standing behind her.

"Who are you?" Roxie asked. "And really, why am I here? How do you know my name? What do you want from me?"

"First of all," Wolf stated. "I'm Wolf O'Donnell, the leader of StarWolf, but you can call me 'Wolf'. Second of all, Master Hand is the one who told us your name. If you want to know how and why you got here, why don't you ask Master Hand because he knows why he brought you here. Follow me."

He then proceeded to lead Roxie into the room with Master Hand, Crazy Hand, Rosalina and Luma, Pit, Sonic, Kirby, Yoshi, Donkey Kong, Luigi, Mr. G&W, Lucario, Pikachu, Ness, and R.O.B. in it.

"THERE SHE IS!" Crazy Hand screamed.

"Calm down, Crazy," Master Hand hushed.

"Yeah, my ears are ringing," Mr. G&W groaned as he and the other surviving Smashers plugged their ears due to Crazy Hand's loud voice.

"Anyway, Roxie," Master Hand explained. "You're in our hiding place. I'm the one who brought you here and I'll tell you why, so listen carefully. It is because Sara had taken over Nintendo World and as much as Crazy Hand and I helped these Smashers escape, sadly, the rest of the Smashers aren't as lucky, so they became a part of her ridiculous imagination and even became "Christens" and "libruls" in their process. It doesn't matter if any of them is a "Christen" or a "librul", so even if one of them is a "librul", their eyes will still glow green anyway."

"That makes sense," Roxie said, allowing Master Hand's words to sink in.

"The only way to restore them to normal is to fight them," Master Hand continued. "Don't say that I didn't warn you, though, because you know it won't be easy, so I'll give you the weapon that you will need. Once you fight them and their eyes stopped glowing green, then this should mean that they're back to normal. I'll let you choose a weapon for yourself in the meantime."

Master Hand then led Roxie into another room, where he presented her with different weapons. Those respective weapons were the mace, katana, a pair of sais, a rapier, an axe, a crossbow, a kalashnikov rifle, an uzi, a dagger with a scabbard and the like. Roxie took her time to try out the said weapons prior to choosing one for herself. She chose the katana.

"I'll bet that the katana will work for me," Roxie said.

"That's a good choice," Master Hand stated.

All of a sudden, Pit barged into the room with Master Hand and Roxie in it.

"Are you ready to kick Sara's religious butt?" Pit asked. "Because we all are!"

"Well, if you say so," Roxie agreed, so Master Hand led her and the surviving Smashers in the Smash Mansion...and that was it. They were ready to try to stop Sara in her tracks.


	3. The Reclaiming of the Smash Mansion

After Master Hand and Crazy Hand led Roxie and the surviving Smashers to the Smash Mansion that they once lived in (or so it seemed), they proceeded to sneak inside and, in their process, they saw Sara talking to Link, Ike (or "Icke", according to her imagination) and her "best friend" named Lauren.

"Heh, those two Smashers sure look familiar," Roxie admitted prior to eavesdropping to their conversation, with the surviving Smashers following suit.

Let's focus on Sara and the brainwashed Smashers in the meantime now...

"So, my dear Link," Sara purred. "Why don't we go on a double date to Chick-fil-A tonight? Does that sound good?"

"That sounds awesome," Link said in excitement.

"To be honest," Ike said, "Chick-fil-A serves the best chicken in the world."

"Yeah, let's eat there!" Lauren agreed.

"I always take it as a 'yes'," Sara admitted. "It is my favorite restaurant of all time, right?"

Unbeknownst to Sara and the brainwashed Smashers, however, was that Roxie and the surviving Smashers were hiding somewhere and eavesdropping the entire time. All of a sudden, Wolf then started sneezing, accidentally getting their attention in his process.

"Wait a minute," Sara gasped. "I guess this must be one of those disgusting liberals somewhere here."

"Is there a liberal in the house?" Ike asked in agreement.

Sara searched everywhere in the mansion until she (along with Lauren, Link and Ike) finally discovered our heroes.

"A-HA!" Sara shouted as she whipped out her bible. "Found you!"

"Hey, what are you gonna' do to us now?" Pit sweat-dropped, expecting Sara to do the same to him as she did the other Smashers before him and his fellow survivors.

"Don't worry," Sara reassured, "I won't brainwash any of you...yet. Anyway, what are you stinking liberals doing here? And really, why are you even here anyway?"

"What's the big idea?!" Roxie snarled. "I've already read that awful story of yours and I want to know why you're doing this?"

"Because I want to spread the word of God," Sara answered.

"Hey, where's my nephew and what did you DO TO HIM?!" Donkey Kong roared.

"Yeah, and where's that pup?!" Wolf demanded.

"Yeah, and-a my brother too!" Luigi barked.

"And what about King Dedede and Meta Knight?" Kirby agreed.

"And Lucas too?" Ness yelled in agreement as well.

"Oh, that's a good question from you liberals," Sara sarcastically answered. "They're both in Subspace and that's because I brainwashed them and turned them into liberals and not those like you!"

Well, this really hit home for Donkey Kong and he then started beating his chests angrily, scaring Sara, Lauren and the brainwashed Smashers instantly. Yup, he sure was willing to make her pay for brainwashing his nephew.

"Good," Roxie smirked, impressed by Donkey Kong's tactics. "Now beware my fire powers!"

As a result, she then pulled out her twig from her bushy tail and ignited it as if on cue and then proceeded to attack Sara with it.

"You must've gotten me this time, liberal!" Sara shouted. "But I will return next time and you won't be as lucky! In the meantime, enjoy having this mansion back when you already can!"

With that, she, along with Lauren, Link and Ike, fled the Smash Mansion, leaving it to our heroes in their process.

"Well, at least we got this mansion back," Mr. G&W said sheepishly.

Donkey Kong, on the other hand, didn't pay attention to the fact that Roxie helped the survivors reclaim the Smash Mansion because he was too busy being angry at Sara for what she did to Diddy Kong.

"Why are you still angry," Ness asked. "We already got the Smash Mansion back now."

"Because that kid's gonna; pay!" Donkey Kong snapped. "I'm gonna' find my little buddy if it's the last thing I do, even if it means having to fight him!"

"Don't worry, big guy," Roxie reassured. "We will find him soon."

Later that night, everyone was getting ready for bed, since Master Hand insisted that they needed a good night's sleep to help them free the brainwashed Smashers from Sara's control. Donkey Kong was still angry, so despite Rosalina reminding him not to go to bed angry, he still went to bed angry anyway. Wolf, in the meantime, agreed to allow Roxie to share a room with him.

"We may have gotten this place back," Wolf stated, "but I know that it's far from over. We still need to find that pup and everyone else."

"I know," Roxie said. "And we'll find them anyway. After that, we will then fight Sara or Strollara or whatever her name is."

"Well, I must say," Wolf said, "that you're right. We also need to put an end to that religious nonsense of hers and if anyone's gonna' tan that pup's hide anyday, then you know it's gonna' be me. Isn't it right, Roxie? Um, Roxie?"

He then looked around for a second and as his eyes fell upon Roxie, he noticed that she had just fallen asleep, so he realized that it was time for bed.

"You know what?" Wolf admitted. "You're right. I think we should get some sleep."

He then rested his head on the pillow, as if on cue, and fell into a deep sleep.

...

 **Now that we found out where Diddy Kong and Fox are and what Sara did to them, Roxie and Co. will go on a quest to find them and free them (and the other brainwashed Smashers) from Sara's control. As for the "libruls" (and then the "Christens"), we will get to them shortly (hopefully in the next chapter, I suppose).**


	4. When an Enemy Teams Up With Another

Meanwhile, in Subspace (where the "libruls", according to Sara and her imagination, happen to live in), the "libruls" were doing their usual. At least this was what Sara had imagined for them to do. Captain Falcon was making out with Marth while Zelda and Evil Clone Sara did the same with Samus and Peach, respectively. Becky, in the meantime, was busy complaining about heir so-called obesity and that was because Sara had brainwashed her into believing that she was obese.

"What's wrong, dear?" Evil Clone Sara asked while making out with Peach. "Why the long face?"

"Ugh, I'm so fat and ugly," Becky moaned.

"Don't worry, you can have a threesome with us if you want," Evil Clone Sara reassured, so Becky agreed to have a threesome with her and Peach, as if on cue.

Fox, in the meantime, was bragging to Falco about Darwinism and how evolution could beat creation anyday while Wario was busy eating vegetarian dishes.

Satan, alongside Barack Obama and Mr. Johnson (who happened to be Sara's Science teacher) were gazing into the crystal ball and couldn't even believe what they were seeing.

"So what did you see, Lord Satan?" Mr. Johnson asked.

"Well, those fools must've resisted Sara's brainwashing," Satan answered. "It makes me wonder how they escaped. Oh, and to top it all off, that foolish Braixen named Roxie is their leader."

"We've been wondering the exact same thing," Obama stated.

All of a sudden, Satan hit upon an idea, so he rose from his throne and walked over to the brainwashed "libruls". He knew what he would do.

"Can I have your attention, please?" Satan announced, prompting the "libruls" to stop what they were already doing. "As much as the "Christens" may hate us, we need to find them and then team up with them."

"What was that, Lord Satan?" Fox asked.

"Yeah, do we have to work with 'Christens'?" King Dedede wondered.

"I'm afraid so," Satan answered. "We need to work together with them to find those fools. If successful enough, we will either take them and then rape them or leave them to the 'Christens'. Any questions?"

"I have one," Wario said. "How can we find the 'Christens'?"

"That's easy," Satan said. "I know that they're always at that restaurant called 'Chick-fil-A', so we know where to find them. Does that make sense?"

The 'libruls' muttered something in approval and with that, the music began to start.

 **CUE SONG: ***"DARK OF THE NIGHT"*****

 **SATAN: (singing)**  
 **In the dark of the night,**  
 **I was tossing and turning**  
 **And the nightmare I had**  
 **Was as bad as it can be-**  
 **It scared me out of my wits-**  
 **A corpse falling to bits!**  
 **Then I opened my eyes**  
 **And the nightmare was...me!**

 **MR. JOHNSON: (singing)**  
 **I am the greatest science teacher in all of America**  
 **When Sara misbehaved in my class**  
 **And has made lots of mistakes!**  
 **But our curse will make those 'Christens' pay**  
 **But those lucky fools got away**  
 **Little Roxie, beware!**  
 **Satan's here!**

 **"GAY LIBRULS": (singing)**  
 **In the dark of the night**  
 **Evil will find them**

 **"LESBAN LIBRULS": (singing)**  
 **In the dark of the night**  
 **Just before dawn**

 **ALL "LIBRULS": (vocalizing)**  
 **Aah...**

 **SATAN: (singing):**  
 **Revenge will be sweet...**

 **OBAMA AND MR. JOHNSON: (singing)**  
 **When the curse is complete!**

 **ALL: (singing)**  
 **In the dark of the night**

At the "in the dark of the night" line, Zelda, along with Captain Falcon, Peach and Fox were already grinding with Samus, Marth, Evil Clone Sara (who was also grinding with Becky) and Falco, respectively, while the rest of the "libruls" were already twerking like crazy.

 **SATAN: (singing)**  
 **They'll be gone**  
 **I can feel that my powers**  
 **Are slowly returning**  
 **Tie my sash and a dash of cologne**  
 **For that smell**  
 **As the pieces fall into place**  
 **I'll see them crawl into my place!**  
 **Hasta la vista, Roxie, Your Grace!**  
 **Farewell...**

 **"GAY LIBRULS": (singing:**  
 **In the dark of the night**  
 **Terror will strike them**

 **SATAN: (singing)**  
 **Terror's the least**  
 **I can do!**

 **"LESBAN LIBRULS": (singing):**  
 **In the dark of the night**  
 **Evil will brew**  
 **Ooh...!**

At the "ooh" line, Satan's floating orbs began to depict Roxie, Rosalina and Luma, Yoshi, Sonic, Donkey Kong, Pikachu, Lucario, Pit, Kirby, Mr. Game & Watch, R.O.B., Ness, Luigi and Wolf sleeping peacefully.

 **SATAN: (singing)**  
 **Soon they will feel**  
 **That their nightmares are real**

 **ALL: (singing)**  
 **In the dark of the night**

 **SATAN: (singing)**  
 **They'll be through!**

 **ALL "LIBRULS": (singing)**  
 **In the dark of the night**  
 **Evil will find them**

 **FOX AND FALCO: (chanting)**  
 **Find them!**

 **"LESBAN LIBRULS": (vocalizing)**  
 **Ooh...!**

 **ALL "LIBRULS": (singing)**  
 **In the dark of the night**  
 **Terror comes true**

 **DIDDY KONG AND BECKY: (chanting)**  
 **Doom them!**

 **SATAN: (singing)**  
 **My dear Roxie,**  
 **Here's the sign-**

 **OBAMA AND MR. JOHNSON: (singing)**  
 **It's the end of the line!**

 **ALL: (singing)**  
 **In the dark of the night...**  
 **In the dark of the night...**  
 **In the dark of the night...**

 **SATAN: (singing)**  
 **Come, my minions**  
 **Rise for your master**  
 **Let your evil shine!**  
 **Find them now**  
 **Yes, fly ever faster**

 **ALL: (singing)**  
 **In the dark of the night...**  
 **In the dark of the night...**  
 **In the dark of the night...**

 **SATAN: (singing)**  
 **They'll be ours!**

 **End of cue song...**

As the song ended, Satan began to laugh evilly, with Obama, Mr. Johnson, Becky and the "libruls" following suit, and with that, the geyser began to erupt, as if it were a volcano of some sort.

...

Later on, Sara, Link, Lauren, Ike and Josh (who happened to be Sara's older brother) were eating at Chick-fil-A and minding their own business when Satan, along with Peach, Wario and Meta Knight, appeared out of nowhere, shocking them instantly.

"You again?!" Sara gasped. "What do you want?!"

"Yeah, you demonic fags!" Josh shouted. "Why are you here?!"

"I know you guys hate me," Satan answered, "but we're not here to fight you. We just need to team up with you."

"Why is that?" Sara asked quizically.

"My dear Sara," Satan marveled. "We were looking into my crystal ball when we already saw those fools who were lucky enough to escape and that this Braixen is with them, so that's why we're here."

"So are you sure that you want to help us now?" Sara asked in confusion.

"Of course, my dear," Satan answered as Peach, Meta Knight and Wario snickered evilly.

"Sara!" Josh interjected as he continued to munch on his chicken sandwich. "Are you sure that you can trust these faggots?"

"Well, if it means hunting down those filthy liberals," Sara stated, "then I can't say no to that one."

"Hey!" Peach, Meta Knight and Wario interjected, feeling insulted by Sara's response to Josh.

"Hey, not you guys," Sara reassured. "I meant those that are lucky enough to escape my brainwashing."

"I see," Peach trailed. "But I want to take them down myself!"

"But what about me?" Wario protested.

"Yeah, aren't you supposed to take us with you?" Meta Knight complained in agreement.

"Fine," Sara sighed. "Then I'll send you to find them. As for you, Satan, if you want to help me find them, then it's a deal."

As a result, she then shook hands with Satan prior to sending Peach to find our heroes. It was going to be a long day after all...

...

 **Speaking of the musical number part and the song itself called "Dark of the Night", I got that idea from that movie called "Anastasia". Anyway, the "libruls" have just teamed up with Sara and the "Christens" to track down Roxie and Co. But will they succeed? Or will Roxie and the non-brainwashed Smashers free them from Sara's control? Read on and stay tuned.**


End file.
